“…knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure beats the hell out of never trying..."

105 days 17 hours and 55 minutes

That’s about how much time I have to prepare before the gun goes off at the 115th running of the Boston Marathon.

A virtual copy of my training program arrived on Thursday. The cumulative weekly miles and hill runs far exceed anything I have endured while training for past races. After reviewing what I can only describe as a daunting 14 week training plan, anxiety ensued. The “what if” flood gates opened, and washed away any bit of false confidence I thought I had going into this.

Yesterday, I turned to my mother and confessed my apprehension about the coming months of training, and an overwhelming fear of failure. She thoughtfully responded to me by saying, “Molly, honey, you don’t have to do this. It’s okay.” Without the ability to fully articulate a proper response, I simply said, “But I do.”

***

A little over 4 years ago, I became hooked on ABC’s primetime show, Grey’s Anatomy. On a lazy Thursday night, nestled on the couch with my roommates at the time, (as corny as this sounds –and I know it does) a monologue from the show hit a chord with me. I’ve kept it close ever since. It reads…

"A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying."

And so…

105 days 17 hours and 48 minutes

I know I run like a girl. Try to keep up!